{workout buddies}

Its ON!  My babies are six months old and I promised myself I'd start a healthy living/fitness plan when they were eight weeks old.  Woops.  I'm tired of being a bloated, unhealthy version of my former self.  Granted, my former self wasn't going to win a Miss Fitness America pagent anytime soon, but being overweight with the battle scars from a twin pregnancy makes me feel repulsive.  

Having GD and not being able to enjoy food at all (in my opinion) really rocked my eating habits after pregnancy.  All that junk I couldn't have on occasion during pregnancy, I ate in mass amounts post partum.  I am very frustrated with myself, there's no excuse.  What's done is done and now I get to work on shedding the post partum pounds.  

We've decided to revamp our entire system.  We're rearranging our budget to pay off our cars a couple years early (hopefully by January 2012).  We're rearranging our routine to include more cooking as a family, chores as a family and fitness as a family.  I'm working a bit more until the end of November, so we need to streamline our routines to ensure maximum output.  When you have two very active babies, a (close to) full time job, debt that needs to go, 30+ lbs to lose and a home that needs to be kept in ship shape, you REALLY need a plan that works.  

We're both motivated to make these changes.  We know it will be hard in the beginning, but we're hoping it becomes habit pretty quickly.  Our kids deserve healthy, organized, happy, loving parents.  They have all that, but we're kicking it up a notch.  Something clicked in me recently and I like my new way of thinking :)

Coach figured out how to do a fish face!  I'm trying to get a pic of it, but as soon as I pull out the camera he smiles :)  I'll take dimples and a gummy grin any day though!  Fancy has started to do a similar kissy face.  They're so funny!  They grow and change SO quickly its scary.  I'm afraid I'll wake up to teenagers tomorrow.  Seriously.  

Speaking of changes, I'm considering going back to using our real names.  I'm going to talk to M a little more about it.  Yes, the blog theme has changed again.  I can't find one I'm super excited about.  I like this one and it was a TON of work to get it up and running, so I'll probably stick with it for a while.  I hope :)

{reality}

Everyday I see more and more of the damage my pregnancy did to my body.  I knew getting stretch marks was a given-I'm ok with those, though they're one of the worst cases I've ever seen.  I knew my belly skin would stretch and not quite go back-its called twin skin and its REAL.  I didn't realize that my pelvis and abdominal muscles would be so much trouble.  I had a particularly bad case of pelvic separation in my last trimester, it hurt so bad to even walk to the bathroom 10 ft from my hospital bed.  I am also dealing with a bad case of diastasis or abdominal separation.  I'm hoping with physical therapy, both will improve.  The physical therapist said my pelvic floor looks really bad from the ultrasound images since I've given birth.  Fun!

I can't believe I'm posting these, but whatev. Please excuse my swollen, tired, nasty appearance.  I had pre-e and had been on hospital bedrest for 3 weeks at this point.

This is what my bare belly looked like a week before delivery.  Its an iPhone pic so you can't see a lot of detail (thank goodness).  My linea negra was/is crooked.  That always cracked me up.  The bottom part (under my belly button) was straight though.  Weird.

And again.  That big ridge on the right side you're staring at is {A}.  She was butt up in a little ball when we took this picture.  When you have two in there you can see some body parts (we could see arms, legs, elbows, knees, butts)...it was interesting!  They had just "dropped" as I'm sure you can tell.  Hence the pelvic separation being particularly bad.  The weight of two babies + two placentas + two amniotic sacs = a lot of damn weight bearing down on my poor pelvic opening.

This was M's side.  He ran along my whole left side, head down, stretched out the entire pregnancy.  Literally.  

This is me today, well last week.  My abdominal muscles are maxed out completely.  I have some belly fat to lose, but since my abdominals are so bowed I won't get a hugely different appearance than the one you're looking at in this picture.  I fear I'm doomed to look 5 months pregnant forever.

From the front you can see the outline of extra saggy skin.  There's a LOT of it and its gross.

I took post-partum bare belly pics with this series last week, but I'm not confident enough to post them.  I sincerely think it would jar some of you.  I bet a lot of you are super thankful for your one or two stretchmarks/belly bounced right back with your singletons!  Though my stomach is destroyed and it still feel pain in my pelvis when I walk after sitting for a while, I love what my body did and I love these kids.  I'd do it again in a instant.

To all you newly pregnant, half way there and almost done pregnant momma's, don't worry about what your pregnancy will do, can do, has done to your body.  Marvel at the miracle your body is creating!

Body after babies

Its no secret that pregnancy completely changes your body.  Your body swells to accommodate the precious life(lives) miraculously growing rapidly inside.  Your hips spread, your hormones surge, your skin stretches and everything changes.  All this growth can (and often does) leave behind permanent reminders of this fleeting time.  I wasn't a fan of pregnancy per say, buy I appreciated that amazing time I got to spend feeling them move inside me.  Such a special bond.

My post pregnancy body is about what I expected.  Saggy twin skin(google it, its nasty), ridiculous amounts of purple stretch marks, saggy boobs-even though I didn't breastfeed for long (sorry dad!) and my hips are still a bit wide-I'm told it could take months for them to return to normal.  I had a section, so I have a new scar.  I was on bed rest for an eternity, so I'm in horrid shape physically.  I'm thinner than I was pre-pregnancy, but thats because I had diabetes and only gained 25lbs. My tummy is flatter than it was before, but I have awful abdominal separation from being so large and in charge.

I have some pelvic floor issues from {M} being lodged so low in my pelvis for so long.  My bladder will never be the same.  I have a long way to go with my abs.  I took a 45 minute walk with Nellie dog and the double stroller the other day and I'm extremely sore.  My hair is different somehow, I can't figure out in what way though.  My skin is dryer and my eyelashes are punier (sad).  My fingernails are thicker.

I think pregnancy does some mental damage (maybe damage is the wrong word) too.  There's just no way to prepare yourself for pregnancy.  The morning sickness, the aches, the pains, the blood, the birth, etc.  I think if women knew what pregnancy was like before getting pregnant, there'd be fewer of us trying to achieve this goal!  Once you've gone through pregnancy and birth and can hold (an snuggle and kiss) the reason(s) for all your pain and hard work, its all good :)  I think thats why most women go back for "seconds" (and thirds, etc).  Its all absolutely worth it ;)  I'd do it again in a heartbeat, I plan to do it again-only next time with a singleton (Lord willing).

While I hope to someday have some augmentation and lifting and tucking, I'm ok with my new body.  I never was a bikini girl to begin with :)  My new flaws are the remnants of a beloved time when I carried the two most beautiful children this world has ever seen.  I'll forever be proud of what my body was able to accomplish-it was HARD work!