{reality}

Everyday I see more and more of the damage my pregnancy did to my body.  I knew getting stretch marks was a given-I'm ok with those, though they're one of the worst cases I've ever seen.  I knew my belly skin would stretch and not quite go back-its called twin skin and its REAL.  I didn't realize that my pelvis and abdominal muscles would be so much trouble.  I had a particularly bad case of pelvic separation in my last trimester, it hurt so bad to even walk to the bathroom 10 ft from my hospital bed.  I am also dealing with a bad case of diastasis or abdominal separation.  I'm hoping with physical therapy, both will improve.  The physical therapist said my pelvic floor looks really bad from the ultrasound images since I've given birth.  Fun!

I can't believe I'm posting these, but whatev. Please excuse my swollen, tired, nasty appearance.  I had pre-e and had been on hospital bedrest for 3 weeks at this point.

This is what my bare belly looked like a week before delivery.  Its an iPhone pic so you can't see a lot of detail (thank goodness).  My linea negra was/is crooked.  That always cracked me up.  The bottom part (under my belly button) was straight though.  Weird.

And again.  That big ridge on the right side you're staring at is {A}.  She was butt up in a little ball when we took this picture.  When you have two in there you can see some body parts (we could see arms, legs, elbows, knees, butts)...it was interesting!  They had just "dropped" as I'm sure you can tell.  Hence the pelvic separation being particularly bad.  The weight of two babies + two placentas + two amniotic sacs = a lot of damn weight bearing down on my poor pelvic opening.

This was M's side.  He ran along my whole left side, head down, stretched out the entire pregnancy.  Literally.  

This is me today, well last week.  My abdominal muscles are maxed out completely.  I have some belly fat to lose, but since my abdominals are so bowed I won't get a hugely different appearance than the one you're looking at in this picture.  I fear I'm doomed to look 5 months pregnant forever.

From the front you can see the outline of extra saggy skin.  There's a LOT of it and its gross.

I took post-partum bare belly pics with this series last week, but I'm not confident enough to post them.  I sincerely think it would jar some of you.  I bet a lot of you are super thankful for your one or two stretchmarks/belly bounced right back with your singletons!  Though my stomach is destroyed and it still feel pain in my pelvis when I walk after sitting for a while, I love what my body did and I love these kids.  I'd do it again in a instant.

To all you newly pregnant, half way there and almost done pregnant momma's, don't worry about what your pregnancy will do, can do, has done to your body.  Marvel at the miracle your body is creating!