[worry]

Becoming a parent means the introduction to CONSTANT worry.  As someone who is pre-disposed to worrying as it is, parental worry makes me certifiably insane.  Every little cough, sneeze, sniffle, new cry, etc sends me to Dr Google-which is the absolute worst place I can go for answers.  I feel like we have a standing appointment at our pediatricians office.  My worry intensified after we came in contact with that diseased little shit a couple weeks ago.

I'm so scared they could have gotten something from this kid.  The cough was uncharacteristic of one you'd hear in a child with pertussis, but some kids don't get the "whoop".  Every Dr./P.A./nurse, etc that I've assaulted with my fears claims the babies didn't have enough contact with the boy to get it.  They also think what I described of his nasty hack is more thank likely some kind of virus.  They aren't ruling out pertussis, but at this point they assure me its unlikely.

Since we brought them home, the babies have sneezed.  Not too much, but its there.  Recently they started an occasional cough.  Its rare, but its there.  Its dry and not accompanied by anything notable.  Lately they've also sounded congested when waking up in the morning or from naps.  Their pediatrician thinks its dry air, which totally could be the case because we just started regularly using our air conditioner and its on pretty high because the upstairs is perpetually hot.

They are now starting to be picky eaters...both of them.  Mornings are the worst.  They hum and haw for an hour and get 1-2.5 ounces, depending on how much we're able to force down.  Around noon-1p their tune changes and they become ravenous, eating 4 ounces every 2 or so hours.  I don't get it and it worries me.  Its strange to me that BOTH are picky eaters some mornings and both sneeze/cough/are congested after sleep.   

Part of me knows their occasional coughs, sneezes, eating habits and plugged noses is normal and probably a result of them getting use to the cold dry air from the air conditioner.  It could also be the cottonwoods, our pets or a slew of other things.  Then the worry sets in.  What IF this is the beginning of pertussis?  What IF they're exhibiting the signs and symptoms of the first stage?  It doesn't help that the first stage sets in 5-10(+) days after exposure and the symptoms are coughing, sneezing, runny nose/congestion and other cold symptoms.  How the bleep am I supposed to get an relief?

I'm driving my husband crazy.  I'm pretty sure my pediatrician thinks I'm a lunatic mother who needs to chill the eff out (thankfully he accommodates my worries and assures me that in his experience X isn't on his list of worries).  Both are probably right.  I wish I would have never gone to that bbq and met that nasty little kid and his horrid parents.  I feel like such a bad parent for putting them in harms way like that.  I can't change the fact that they may have been slightly exposed to this kid (he didn't touch them and he wasn't really near them when they weren't covered up).  I just pray that their very occasional coughs and sneezes are totally harmless and that all my worrying is pointless.

Sorry to spew my woes out here, but They're consuming my every thought, so I had to get them out of my head and put them somewhere.  Why does this have to be so hard?  Oh and VACCINATE your damn kids. The reason pertussis is back is primarily because people chose not to vaccinate their child.  Do it on a delayed schedule, do it however you feel comfortable, but please DO IT.  You're putting your child and MINE at risk and when that happens this momma bear gets pissed.  You don't want to see this momma bear pissed.  If you don't vaccinate, you won't be seeing much of us.

:)