{Son of a _ _ _ _ _!}

Anyone seen the Nap Fairy?  They have fairies for everything child related, don't they?  Well, if you see her (him?) send her our way.  Naptime was going well today.  They both fell right asleep, but not before they pooped.  It was silent today, so I didn't hear it over the monitor.  I walk in to check on them and cover them up and the stench of a thousand rotting carcases hits me like a ton of bricks.

Mother of Pearl!  I can't let them sit in that.  Normally I catch them before they nod off or if its not too bad I can wait until after nap to change them.  This was a doozy.  It needed immediate attention.  A full on five alarm poop.  Its gonna get gross from here on out, just a warning.  I had the bright idea to just reach in with a wipe and pluck out the poop.  No need to get Coach all undressed and woken up, right?  After 5 wipes I began regretting my plan of attack.  The poop wasn't as solid as I'd hoped or it had some kind of magical quality that turned it mushy when it hit air.  Either way, it was a mess.

I did accomplish my goal without having to actually change him though.  I'm pretty proud of that...even if I did have to wash my hands 4837 times.  Sadly, when I was on the last wipe, the "just making sure I got it all" wipe, he woke up.  Son of a b****!  If you are even remotely familiar with toddler sleep habits, you know that you NEVER prematurely wake a sleeping toddler.  Eyes closed for even 5 minutes counts as a nap in toddler-ville.

Of course, he was wide awake after that.  Jumping around his crib (with the creaky springs), yelling, humming, singing, calling out to his sister, throwing his blankets/toys out of his crib, etc.  I'm pretty sure you can guess what happens next.  Yep, Fancy wakes up and has the energy of an Olympic swimmer.  I kid you not, they were only officially sleeping for maybe 10 minutes.  Ten mother effing minutes!

We're now 2 hours into nap-gate and they're both still in there wide awake.  I'm not going down without a fight.  They have full bellies, clean butts and I've got nothing but time.  I know this is my fault.  Trust me, I'm mad at myself.  But COME ON, non-rested toddlers are down right torture to deal with.  They've already been fighting all morning:  hair pulling, hitting, kicking, toy stealing, screaming, temper tantrums, etc.  Momma needs a break.  Just a little break from the madness.  We'll all be so much happier when they give in and snooze a bit. 

***UPDATE***

Well, Coach fell asleep, but then Fancy was wide awake.  I kept going in to try to get the energizer bunnette to calm down and lay down, but she wasn't having it.  It got really quiet in there for about 45 minutes and then Coach got back up and it was o.v.e.r.  I went in and Fancy was soaked (which is weird, we don't have leaks at naptime) and had pooped as well.  Damn you blueberries.  Time to get up! 

They're pretty chipper right now.  They're watching Looney Toons and giggling.  P.S.  Did you know Kristen Wiig is the voice of Babs on the new generation of Looney Toons?  Wild!  Fancy spilled some cheerios and Mr Clean (Coach) is cruising all over the living room floor with a wipe, cleaning them up.  Must be related to Papa Ron!  We'll see if they make it to bedtime :)