I rarely post things like this because, well, I rarely agree with this sort of thing. This list, however is a good one :) SOURCE
1. Are they natural?
- Absolutely not, we got them from twintopia, the planet that makes synthetic twins. Of course they're natural. They're as natural as your singleton. I also get "do they run in your family?" a lot. I just smile and say yes. I have no idea if twins run in my family, but I'm not getting into my family tree with a nosy stranger.
2. Did you do IVF?
- How my children were conceived is absolutely NONE of your business. Its not like I ask you what sex position you conceived your child in. I understand people are curious about twins, but this question is VERY offensive. To me at least, and I did do IVF to concieve. *** more on this at the bottom***
3. Ooooh I always wanted twins/triplets/quads!
- I usually smile and talk about how fun multiples are (and they are!). However, if a close friend would have said this to me, I'd remind them how risky the pregnancy is, how difficult it is to care for two babies, how guilty I feel when I can only comfort one baby at a time (since I only have 2 arms), how guilty I feel that neither of my children will ever have my full attention, how expensive buying two of everything is, how difficult breastfeeding was for me and how shitty I felt (and still feel) that I had to quit, and the list goes on. I don't want this to sound whiney. I LOVE my babies more than I can possibly ever express, but you have to see both sides of the coin. I think people see twins as a novelty. They're cute, I mean TWO babies! I get that, when you haven't been there its hard to understand.
4. I think that one's prettier/prettiest.
- I've actually never gotten this (I have b/g fraternals obviously), outside of family who usually thinks the kid that looks like their side its the cuter one. My son looks like me (almost exactly) and my daughter looks like my husband (exactly), so they look NOTHING alike, which is funny to me given they're twins :)
5. Can you tell them apart?
- See above. I can obviously tell them apart, BUT, I get "are they identical?" All.the.time. Yes, people looking straight at them look at me and ask if my blonde/blue daughter (clearly a girl with pierced ears and a bow) and my brunette-ish/hazel son are identical. I guess its like a knee jerk question that pops into most people's heads when they see twins?
6. My kid is so hard, he's just like having multiples.
- I've never gotten this one. I'm not sure what I'd say to this. I have REALLY easy babies. I'm not even exaggerating. I know women who've had colicky babies and I can honestly say, I think they have it much harder than me in some regards.
7. And you're even wearing makeup!
- I don't really get this. I get "Oh you look great!...for having twins..." Initially, I think its a compliment, but then I realize I look great for having a big flabby belly and looking exhausted. Thanks, I think?
8. Did you know you were having twins?
- This one irks me only because in today's world, getting to 40 weeks gestation without monitoring or an ultrasound is unheard of. The exceptions being women who choose to have no/minimal interventions and women who didn't know they were pregnant. Still not sure how that happens, but whatev.
9. I guess you're done having kids now?
- NOPE! Most people assume two kids, one boy and one girl is a perfect family, and it is! However, we don't feel our family is complete yet.
10. If something happens to one, at least you'll have a spare.
- Never gotten this one, but if I did I'd probably punch them. I can't imagine someone would be this rude.
11. Better you than me.
- Absolutely!
12. Can I take a picture of them?
- FUCK no. They're not a sideshow. We don't make eye contact when we notice people are staring or starting to close in on the stroller. You can't touch them either.
13. I'd shoot myself.
- Never had this one said to me. Most people think twins are a blessing, as do we :)
14. How are you going to afford...?
- RUDE. This is on the forefront of most of our minds. Two of everything does get pricey, but we obviously manage just fine! Our finances are no one's business, least of all, a stranger.
15. What do you think of Octomom/Kate+8?
- I don't. Both are products of irresponsible fertility treatments and are baby obsessed. I hate to say it, but they give MoM's (mother's of multiples) a bad name. They're kiddo's sure are cute though!
*** Because I've never addressed it here before, I will now. Yes, I did IVF to get pregnant with our twins. In Feb 2003 I had a massive (benign) ovarian tumor that took my right ovary. Because of this surgery, my remaining Fallopian tube was damaged resulting in a ruptured ectopic in Jan 2009. If you're keeping score, this left me with ONE ovary. Period.
From Jan 2009-Jun 2010 we saved and saved and saved. Thanks to a very generous donation from my dad and step mom (we're forever grateful) in Jul 2010 we started our first (and only, at this point) IVF cycle. In Aug 2010 we found out we were expecting twin and in Mar 2011 our beautiful twins were born. We have three frozen embryo's that we're planning on using in the not too distant future. Our fingers are crossed that at least one of them will hang on and become baby #3 (or #4...#5!). So that's the story of how our twins came to be :)
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