{Christmas shopping brings out the best in everyone}

Or maybe we just live in a shitty place.  I like to think the latter.  People are inherently good, right?  There will be frequent cursing in the post.  If it offends you stop reading.

After work I headed to Hobby Lobby to pick up gifts for my co-workers.  I pull into the parking lot, see a space and go for it.  I see a car coming so I put my blinker on.  In civilized society, this means that I intend to park in that spot.  She slows down, pauses, and guns it into the parking space.  Are you fucking kidding me?

I shake it off...sort of, after rolling down my window and shouting "SERIOUSLY" in her general direction.  She didn't look, just kept on walking into the store.  Whatev.  I get into the store and head in the general direction of the Christmas section.  The clerks are stocking the shelves throwing the "f" bomb around like they're in a club.  I thought that was odd.

I cruise up one of the Christmas aisles in search of the perfect little gift for each of my lovely co-workers. I notice a very large man with an oxygen tank pushing a cart barreling down the aisle so I scoot to the side.  He seems to be incredibly put out that there is another human being in the same aisle as him and he thumps right into me as he passes.  I look at him with what must have been the nastiest look and say "oh excuse me".  He barely acknowledges my presence and goes into the next aisle.

I realize I'm in HELL, so I get my gifts and wrapping supplies and get to the check out counter as fast as my tootsies will carry me.  The line is forever long, but by the grace of God, a second checker opens her stand.  I run walk over to the counter and she decides she's going to use a different counter to check us out.  Alright.  I make my way over to the next counter, but I'm lapped by two very eager women.  We're checking out here, not chasing diamonds.  I'm fucking pissed at this point.

I keep on keeping on, sure I'll get checked out at some point.  A clerk stops me just outside the correct aisle to answer a question I'd asked her earlier.  These two old ladies shout "EXCUSE ME".  So rudely that I whirl around in astonishment.  She shoots me a sarcastic bitch ass grin and I do the same.  Then, and this is the best part, she starts talking shit.  Yes, really.  Picture this.  I have two 105 year old ladies talking crap about ME.  She says sarcastically, "Christmas really brings out the best in people", then laughs and starts singing Christmas songs.  I just shake my head, partly because I'm really trying not to flip the fuck out and partly because I can't believe what a bitch she is.  She makes comments about how I have so much in my cart and how she'd normally confront me (about what, I don't know), but since its the Holidays she'd let it slide.  Again, I'm not sure what she's letting slide.

As soon as the checker gave me my receipt I shot the ODB(old dirty bitch) the nastiest look at got the fuck out of there.  She's lucky I didn't have my poodle or my paddle brush with me.  She did get a very similar grimace though...

I need a drink.