[mommy wars]

The pee isn't even dry on our positive pregnancy tests and we're already researching what's best for baby.  As mothers, we are said to have an instinct that tells us what's best, but most of us couple that with exhaustive research.  We read book after book, we talk to other mom's, we're always learning.  Its a big job.  Perhaps, the biggest of our lives-I certainly believe it is. 

I belong to several forums for moms (moms of multiples, military moms, etc).  In my casual browsing of the boards I belong to, as well as others, there's a common trend.  "My ideas on mothering/parenting are better than yours."  AKA-Mommy Wars.  As a collective group of women-who happen to be mothers, shouldn't we support each other?  I do see that, but its more common to see one mother tearing down another for her choices. 

I believe in educating women who haven't educated themselves.  A casual conversation, a link to a helpful website or study, etc.  Blatantly telling that mother that she is wrong or in some way less of a mother for her choices is not my idea of helpful.  We're not on opposing teams here, we're in this togther. 

I've been judged my choices.  I don't like it and it doesn't feel good.  Someone close to me does this repeatedly and rather than let it hurt me, I become infuriated.  It is a sticky situation because she is family.  I've never been one to shy away from a fight, but this is ridiculous.  How a couple chooses to parent is no one's business-unless the child is in danger.  She is the perfect parent...for HER child.  This child is beautiful, bright, healthy and happy. 

Each child is unique in their needs and abilities.  We have two children the same age.  Its very hard to baby wear both children at their current size.  We chose not to send our children to daycare.  We do our best to hold both babies when we feed them, but its not always possible (despite what she thinks, we still have a beautiful bond with each of our children).  I wasn't able to breastfeed my children (no one is more upset about this than me).  We choose to vax our children on schedule. W e started feeding solids at 5 and a half months rather than 6.  The list goes on.  My husband and I love our children to the moon and back.  We wants what's best for them and we feel our choices ARE what is best for them.  They are healthy, happy, and practically perfect in every way. 

We're different.  Not better or worse than one another, just different.  I wish she'd see that.  I don't agree with the vast majority of her choices, but they work for her and her child.  That's all that matters.  Period.