NICU update

We've been spending every waking minute in the NICU with M&A, so I haven't had time to update.  M is off the vent and on CPAP.  Yay!  He's making big progress :)  The NICU nurses tell me that white baby boy's do the worst in the NICU, they call it wimpy white boy syndrome.  I just hope he gets the hang of feeding quickly so we can bring him home SOON.  There's nothing more heartbreaking that seeing your child cry and there's nothing you can do about it.  He just wants US and we can't pick him up and comfort him.  We talk to him and hold his sweet little head and that seems to help, but he just needs us.  Also, knowing they cry when we are not there is equally as hard.  We are supposed to be the ones who pick them up and make it better and we can't right now.  Leaving the hospital every night is just about the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I'm having a VERY hard time with that right now.

A is doing fantastic as well.  She's not on any oxygen, she's breathing room air.  She is eating about 27 ml of breast milk at each feeding.  I'm pumping for them (although she's the only one eating right now, he's on lipids) and the nurses store it in a fridge there in the NICU.  At least she (and eventually he) are getting the "good stuff" from me when I can't be there to feed them.  They both were on photo-therapy lights for the last couple days, but their biliruben went down, so they are done with that right now.  We get to feed and hold (and kiss and love) A a lot, which is amazing, but its so hard not to hold her brother.  He had an umbilical IV put into his belly button when he was on the vent and until they take it out we can't hold him.  Its in an artery and apparently if it gets pulled out he can hemmorage (sp?).  We don't want to take that chance.  

I'm having a hard time with them being there.  I know they need to be there until they are strong enough to breath/eat well, but it kills me.  They are 6 days old today and I want them HOME.  The house is lonely without them and I feel like I just cry all evening after we leave them.  In fact, I know I do.  Hardest thing ever.  Pumping is tough because it reminds me of my babies that are currently being cared for by someone else.  Tough pill to swallow.  Please keep the 4 of us in your prayers.  For M & A to make lots of great progress in the next couple days (and hopefully come home) and for Momma and Daddy to be strong while they are in there.  M and I are beside ourselves waiting for them.  I hope all of this seems like a blip in time in just a few short weeks, but for now its the hardest thing we've ever done.