Thinking of a special lady

This sweet lady is my Grandma.  She passed away in May 2009, but today is her birthday and she's never been far from my thoughts.  This picture hangs on my fridge, under it are the recent ultrasounds of her twin great-grand children.  She would have been tickled pink to meet them!  I like to think she's watching over me and them all the time-and deep down, I know she is.  This is one of the last times I saw her...maybe the last.  She called me the week before she died.  I never called her back.  I was too busy (sick right?), I thought we had more time.  Something in my life was apparently more important.  I could have had a memorable conversation with her.  I could have made it count.  Instead, I put off calling her back and I never talked to her again.  Man that stings.  

She slipped into a kind of coma in her home that week and then drifted peacefully into the arms of her beloved Jesus Christ, with her husband and her sons by her side.  What a beautiful moment that must have been for them.  She was invincible to me, you see.  She was the matriarch.  She made it her life's goal to love all of us and keep our growing family together.  Her greatest joy was to have all of us around her.  She was funny.  She loved to laugh.  She was a special person.  

My Grandma has been walker-bound since I can remember.  She suffered several strokes that left her body limited in what it could do.  That never stopped her.  She was full of pizazz and full of life and she was a natural show stopper.  She was the center of attention, no matter who was in the room.  She adored her boys.  She raised all boys-a lot of them.  Even as adults, with their own children, they were still her baby's.  She'd pull out a scrapbook and her sharp as a tack memory never failed her.  She'd remember the exact situation pictured and tell the story behind it like it happened yesterday.  She had a story for everything and none of us ever really knew if it was a true story or one she made up to dazzle us.  I love that about her.  

She loved Buddha's.  They were all over her home.  Don't let that fool you, she was a devout Catholic.  She just liked Buddha's big belly and bald head.  She got a kick out of him. I wonder what my grandpa did with the Buddha's when she passed?  She loved St Louis sports.  The Cardinals or Blues were always on tv.  She talked about the local newscasters like they broad casted from her living room and were talking directly to her.  She made all of us feel special.  There are a lot of grand children in my family, and she managed to know all of us.  All of our personalities were burned into her brain.  She gave me a book about Native American Archaeology before she passed.  I had no idea she knew I was interested.  She never forgot a birthday and she always gave us TONS of socks and $50 in cash for Christmas.  For birthdays, we got bath goods.  She loved to be pampered.  She loved to be a girl.  She loved to smell good.  Even when she didn't have much hair or wasn't able to take a bath anymore, she still bought tons of high priced hair/bath products to indulge her girly side.  

As I write this, I can't hide the fact that I miss her like crazy.  The day we buried her, in her pink casket covered from top to bottom with pink roses, was one of the hardest days of my life.  I knew then, that our family-that I, would never be the same.  The family  has drifted.  No one gets together for monthly birthday celebrations anymore.  Christmas isn't held on Christmas anymore and its not even held in anyone's home.  This year, its at a restaurant the day after Christmas.  With her, went tradition.  Maybe thats just how it goes.  Maybe thats just life.  

What I do know, is that I have a lot of her in me.  I have been told often that I am a lot like her.  I'm ridiculously proud of that.  She rocked.   Happy Birthday Gram.  I know I'll see you again one day, save me a warm seat next to you ;)